An Epilogue of A Life Chapter- Fitting Myself.

Assalamualaikum.

Hi all. It's been awhile.

I almost forgot that I have a blog. A place I come by when the emotion hits. Since blogging is not the mainstream social media, I guess here is the appropiate place to rant.

Here I am after a year.

You did not choose these life lessons, but these life lessons chose you. Things didn't go as what I planned/expected.

After I left Siemens, I joined a consession company which till now, I feel blessed to have it along my career journey. A company which I learnt most new things probably because I played an antagonist role. Some days were nice, the others nicer. The people were respectful, my peers are incredible but I doubt I fit my role significantly. The sky isn't always blue, financial issues hit us pronouncedly and impacted a lot of internal operation. We were grateful that our  department was in a good hand- The Manager was capable enough to keep things on track. 

People tend to say, all companies are the same- got pressure, stress, and politics. But here, those things were enjoyable. Thanks to all my colleagues, especially my manager who always provide me any form of support. 

1 random day, I saw a post on LinkedIn from a friend who looking for an engineer. Long story short, I was called for an interview and appointed as their Technical Specialist. The mixed feelings was undescribable- I've no idea what I was getting myself into. Anyway, decision has been made. After I joined for a month or two, I felt that this company doesn't need a Specialist. Looking at the products and machineries, mostly are general equipments. They have a few number of specialized equipment but they always have enough technical support from the factories for any issue surfaced. I can't be so helpful holding the given designation. I'm not sure what are their thought about it.

There's not much pressure from the job but when you have no vibes with the co-workers, that's unbearable. Everything stiff and bland. 

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In a world that often pressures us to conform, it's important to remember the value of authenticity. Forcing oneself to fit into a place or group where one doesn't naturally align with can be mentally and emotionally draining. It's akin to wearing an ill-fitting garment; no matter how much you adjust it, it just doesn't sit right.

Finding where you belong isn't just about being comfortable, it's about being in an environment where you can thrive. Authenticity allows for genuine connections with others and creates a space where one can grow and contribute positively. When you're in the right place, you don't have to force anything; your ideas, values, and personality align with your surroundings, and this harmony fosters well-being and success.

A Moment To Remember- My Career Journey.

I'm writing this while I'm jobless. I left my previous job while no other companies waiting for me to join them. 

But even as I'm writing this, I remember that I'm not defined by my job or my unemployment, nor am I defined by what's listed on my resume or LinkedIn profile. Just as we celebrate our colleagues' new jobs and career breakthroughs, we should remind ourselves that receiving and accepting a job offer or getting a promotion isn't the only part of our career journeys. There are also moments when we quit, when we receive rejections, when we feel a slump in our careers.

Yes, I'm having a hard time. Looking at my savings gradually drop, everyday. As a father of my 4 kids and a husband to a full-time housewife, it is just putting everything at risk- being the only family's source of income. I lost my job by choice. Of course there are stories behind such 'silly' decision.

Across 10 years of my career, this is not my first time yet, this is a moment for me to remember. 

 
I know for sure I'm not the only one or the first one to experience this uncertainty, and I've definitely been comforted by similar posts before. But for anyone who read this and wants to chat, to reaffirm ourselves together, I'd be happy to do so. And if you've read this post all the way through, thank you.

Workplace Politics.

If you are a boss in your company. And one day, a staff under your line sending this into your mailbox, what would you do?

Hi boss,

Hope everything is treating you well. I've drafted this email since months ago since I don't know whether I should tell you or do you even interested to know. Well, eventually, you are reading this.

As far as I concern, I'm doing quite good in serving this company. I involved in things which not my area for exposures. My career grows beyond spanners & screwdrivers. In fact, for the first time, I was invited as a speaker to represent our company and discussions representing our country at regional level.

But, my soul is dying every moment I thought about the working environment.

There's no more respect between the staffs. Bully, backstabbing, self-proclaimed to take credits, pulling down each others to get to the top or to get management's attention. Situation is intense with negative vibes. Like we can fall to any traps that nothing to do with us.

Sometimes, the messages posted in WhatsApp groups were far from reality. We had daily meetings and that even worse.

Everyone seems to be so desperate to get attention. It happens like everyday, anytime. At times, I don't know whether to continue  to serve this company or to make move. I've a feeling that my future would be bright if those things disappeared and we all live in healthy working environment.

I'm counting the days I can return the stuffs I'm holding belongs to company and just leave. My bonding is still running and I hope I have a cash to pay them all so that I don't need to think about it anymore.

Some of my colleagues are outstanding taking care of their jobs to the next level but they are mentally provoked because of their achievement and recognition by management. This is nothing to do with technical or workmanship but purely politics.

Regards,

Your staff.

Or..

If you have something to tell your bosses, what would it be?

Not all people good in politics. Or should us all? I think differently. Some good staffs not even able to stand for him/herself when they were backstabbed. They just nodded or say nothing because they think there's no use for them to say a thing. "People just hated me".

And some others were like 'I don't give a damn' type. They neither the victim, or the 'beast'. They keep themselves away with 'pop-corn', unless their turns come. 

There's few things that caught my attention. Without specify to any company I joined, this situation is almost everywhere whereby, the management don't have any 'check-and-balance' system whenever they have meetings with their downlines. If their staffs (read: beast) tried to tell them something which is hard to comprehend or too technical, they can be tricked easily. Especially when the beast playing victim.

Secondly, no other staffs will intervene and say, "Hey, it doesn't sound like what actually happened. Technically, its wrong" or challenge the statement. It simply because, half of them are 'I don't give a damn' type person, some other think that they want to maintain their relationship as it is - don't bother or I'll spoilt it. And the other group is the victim who can't stand up for themselves.

The drama is everywhere with no good ending. Some are actors, some are puppets. Some are survivors who eventually left the company. Because politics, to each their own. We have choices. 

Bloom Where You Are Planted.

I don't know what others think.

But I guess, I'm doing quite well in Siemens, I would say. I had my jobs done or followed up reasonably every day. I learned new things, talked to people, tried out any opportunities relevant to my career path direction. I had chances to deliver my thoughts and represented my team for some discussions. I was invited to be a speaker by a big, prestigious local University, as the company's representative.

Another one box ticked!

I thanked my superiors who always put their trust on me and being generous for the opportunities & experiences. My career journey is not all about screwdrivers, spanners, and hardware. I loved to convey my ideas, meeting people with all different backgrounds, at all levels so that we know the answer of 'where are we now?'. If we 'syok sendiri', we never know where's the finish lines.

Meeting with our customers from Government Hospital.

Meeting with the PPP.

Even so, I'm not climbing any ladder. I'm just what I need to be since I don't see a way to be what I want to be. And thus, I don't be very specific on my career path. I am just whatever I can be. Just like an odd piece of puzzle finding a space which fits me. A position where I can contribute better to my team, being efficient and effective in healthy environment. That makes me flexible as if one day I'm not serving in biomedical field anymore, or no longer as an engineer.

Career is a chapter of life chapters. Of course I've targets for every single chapter in my life. The chapter called 'Career', has targets. This is one of those. What is next? He knows best! What I can do is put some efforts to bloom where I'm planted.

From Good To Better

Once in awhile, I make time for my old good friends. Called them and ask how's life treating them? Last few days, I called a friend who lives 400 km away from where I'm staying. We never met for years but catching up each other randomly.

In the middle of the conversation, I told him how's my life going. "Look at yourself, you got what you want. Stable life though". He envied me for a lot of reasons. Mainly because, he keeps comparing of what I have, and what he doesn't!

Well, just like him, I envied of other people's lives too. But it doesn't make me feel bad. I've achieved the typical things just like the other average 30's people had. Landed house, wife, kids, and cushy job. My life is good, but I never feel secure. Day by day, I'm thinking can't it be better? I can't think of what I'm doing for the next 5 years! There's no milestone has been set.

Thus, this is one of the reasons why I have this blog. To make the scattered thoughts more structural. Think straight and make direction while writing. It's not always works, but it kills 2 birds with one stone.

The ~2 months lock down changes my life insignificantly. When everything back to its operation, I just continue what I was doing. The only different is, I keep bugging myself to develop more, and how to be the best version of myself?

I have a lot of push factors yet, I'm not moving a bit. I need to change. Be it by day, month, or year, I'm gonna do something from good to better!

Covid-19: We Don't Have This Everyday

It was 3am and I can't sleep a wink. I scooted my body to the edge of my bed. My mind was racing with thoughts of what this day would bring. What our futures would hold, depending upon this very day's outcome. We are so called been quarantined due to the Covid-19, and I'm having my 2 weeks off because of my ankle injury. Those brought me to these thoughts. Everything seemed idle. Businessman ranting here and there with their slogan 'Hanya orang berniaga je yang faham'. I know they are affected so bad. What we are facing now is worse inflation ever. But what else we can do other than bear with it, and adjust whatever possible to survive?

Genesis Mid-Calf Full Shell Walker

Days before, I put my work shirt on and walked out of my garage. My neighbor grinning at me and proudly said, "We got the days off over the Control Movement Order (CMO)". He asked me whether my company is 'graceful' enough to give us such 'privilege'? "No, we gotta work as usual. And you better stay at home. Enjoy!". He smiled while I ended our conversation, not interested.

Well, some of us might think the confinement by the government due to the pandemic is a something to cheer on. Gonna have a long off days which aren't accounted as annual leaves, RM 1.30/L fuel and no traffic jam- What a bless!

The other side of the coin, if the company you are serving is not operating, it is indirectly telling you that the sector you're in is affected tremendously among the rest. Don't celebrate the days too early. I'm afraid if the day comes, you can't even give a grin. Just pray it won't get any worse.

The colored prism of sectors affected by the pandemic phenomenon. Of course there's more.

Do as what you're told to do. Do the good things as much as you could with your family, stay together, stay at home and be safe! Be an opportunist because, we don't have these days everyday.

ACL + Meniscus Repair Surgery!

I had an ACL surgery for my left knee in 2016 and it went quite bad. After a month of surgery, they had to set me back. It was probably because of lack information and I received minimum of consultancy on how to keep the postop process going well. I lose 11kg in weight through out the 6 weeks because of the complications.

"Don't move too much". But how to measure 'much'?

"After a month, you don't have to use the crutches". But I was still feel the hell pain inside. Was I missed out something?

"Eh? where is your bandage? That could be the reason why your knee is swollen". How should I know what the bandage does? The therapist wrapped my knee so loose like it didn't exerted any force to my knee. And he didn't say anything about the important of the bandage.

Minutes before the operation.

So, yeah.

Fast forward 3 years, I had my ACL surgery but on my right knee. Same reason, badminton! This time, I and my wife knew better. No more complications and the postop process is going quite well.
During the follow up session, the nurse came over to my house (this is a new type of service available in Avisena Specialist) and explained about the reason why they bandaged my knee.

"Bandage ni takda apa pun, Encik. Hanya nak bagi kaki kita nampak macam orang sakit masa nak berjalan. Jadi, orang tau kita sakit dan berhati-hati masa nak berurusan dengan kita. Selain tu, nak elakkan infection je. Tapi Encik kan dah pakai water poof dressing ni, jadi, bandage ni dah takda fungsi apa".

Hmmm.. Wait. I recalled my conversation with my old friend, Dr Dzul. He gave me simple yet useful and effective tips how to take care of the ACL postop. They are simplified to an acronym: RICE.

R- Rest. Rest as much as possible during your first 3 weeks postop.
I- Ice. Apply ice to the swollen area as frequent as you could.
C- Compression. Put on the bandage to give compression to the swollen knee every time you off the ice.
E- Elevate. Elevate your leg higher than your heart position for a better blood circulation around the knee.

Well, pay attention to the 'C'. 😇

Expensive!

Cheap :)

Today remarks my final week before I can actually resume my site works. I'm not mentally prepared... yet. By far, I am not so far from the full recovery. Only that, I need time. I am still struggling climbing the stair. A lot more work out needed to get it back to normal.